I started as a kidney stone patient; I had stones, and still do, for the past 10 years. For the first 5 years I could take my Percocet® and leave them, then about 4 years ago I just could not let them go. I tried many times, but then in the past 4 years I had not only the kidney stones, I had back problems, countless surgeries – I had my right ovary removed, then a few months later a complete hysterectomy, I also had three TMJ surgeries, my appendix removed and so forth, so I became addicted.
While I was addicted it was horrible. I lied to everyone, I stole money, I almost destroyed my marriage. I was living alone; I would stay in my room because I didn’t want to associate with anyone; I was alone.... I tried to taper off many times but I just could not handle the withdrawals at all. In July of 06 I went on a Suboxone® 21-day detox program, with no therapy just the pills. Four days after that program, I relapsed and I was on the journey of addiction for another four long months. During these four months I had a calendar that would tell me when FedEx or UPS would be showing up with the pills that I ordered on the internet. But even the 90 pills would only last 2 days, I knew it was getting worse and came to the point that I just wanted to die.
November 30, 2006, I found a place in Indiana that did a longer program. After being in withdrawals for about 14 hours, I went in. They started me on 8mg. of Suboxone and about an hour later they gave me another 8mg. I was feeling about as normal as I could feel, but the cravings and withdrawals were gone. I stayed at this strict program for five months. I had to go every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to get my pills. On the days I wasn’t there, I had to get a pharmacist to sign a paper showing that I took my meds. On Saturdays I would go to the group meetings. Those I did really enjoy, but with all the gas and time I was spending and trying to work to pay for the $120 a week, it was really straining. So I found another doctor whom now I see once a month, and he writes me a script so now I feel like part of society again. I can work and not have to worry about getting to Indiana three times a week. I am glad that I had such a strict program to begin with ‘cause I really know how to work the program and I know I will be able to do this. Without, I don’t know if I would have had the willpower to do the program like I do know. I am currently down to 4mgs daily and still doing great.
I would definitely tell anyone to try this program – it is a lifesaver. I know it was for me, for I don’t worry about where and when my next pills are coming from. I don’t lie or steal anymore. I am a fully functional person in society now. I don’t worry about wanting to not wake up the next day – I cant wait to get up and get going for the day. But the most important thing is I got my family back. My husband loves me more than anything, and I have a beautiful grandchild that I am enjoying so much. And all my kids are just so proud of me, and I will never let any of them down again.